It's been a while ...

I know you all missed me. So here's some reading for ya.

me: i haven't gotten that deep yet

i'm still underground

s: twss

me: haha she said that bc she had a penis, right?

FAIL

s: she has a dildo

me: ...

why would she ...

no, i'm not gonna question you

your choice

s: lol

lesbians----------------------------------------------------------------------

s: lol i cant

i just bought coh

and we didnt evne play it

me: fine

we'll play tonight

company of heroes too

s: yes

wai

twaht

-------------------------------------------------------------------

11:09 PM - h: after i shower, we'll get a round in?11:09 PM - jeff goldblum: sure11:09 PM - h: and play some company of heroes?11:09 PM - jeff goldblum: yep

s: oh

dude

for the road test

can you show up without making an appointment?

h: umm, i don't believe so

s: because tomorrow i want to go

and i dont feel like waiting for mine in nov

h: i'm pretty sure you need to have an appt as well as a valid car with dual brakes

s: when i went with my little bro a year ago, they didnt even check who was for that day

just wrote on the sheet your liceanse and pre-license course number

h: hmmm

you might want to check the dmv website for that

s: tried

h: i'd def call before going

s: ok

h: just cuz from what i remember, everybody that was there, had an appt or at least a list that they went by

i dunno if the driver's ed place took care of that for me, but there was def a list

s: oh you did it through drivers ed

h: well it wasn't really drivers ed, it was just like .. a driving school?

s: oh ok

im bringing my own car

moms taking me

but i told her my test is tomorrow

lol

h: hahaha

s: fuck this is gonna backfire

lol

-------------------------------------------------

s: it's going in no matter what
that's what she said
h: because she has a penis?

--------------------------------------------------

h: tell me if you fail right when you pull out

---------------------------------------------------

s: shut up, you're not my dad (at gary)
h: just compare dick sizes
s: that's a compliment to me
h: no, it's an insult to the both of you

This blog will never fail ...

Why you may ask? Because SteveFails.

H: i wonder if i'll like this game ..

S: its good

S: i beat it too fast

H: got em

H: any replay value?

H: go back and beat it slower maybe?

H: crashed after intro movie

H: guess i'll never know how it feels to beat it

H: slow or fast

S: lol

S: thats what she said

H: are you sure about that?

H: did she say that bc she had a penis?

S: lol fail

H: got em

That, ladies and gentlemen, is why this blog will never fail. Enjoy!

Future Fail

G: I'm 12 hours ahead of you, I'm in the future, I can tell you what will happen in the future.

S: LMAO

G: I can tell you 12 hours later, if you will still be gay.

G: You're not gay 12 hours later.

G: wait a min...12 hours later, you're still gay.

S: fail.

Education Fail.

Finally, the time has come.

5 years of fail.

8 limited edition OMG,FAIL. Graduation Tassels now available at Radio City Music Hall, today only. 

New Creations

I understand that there has been a demand for a different picture for the blog. Here are some contestants. Poll for voting on the sidebar.

A.

B. 

C.

D.

E.

New OMG FAIL picture?

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S: is that going in?

S: is that going in?

S: it hurts when I sit down.

S: niice! 4 pages long!

Hello SteveFails fans! I know it's been a while since a real update because we've all been extremely busy with finals and whatnot so here's a few pictures to whet your whistles until the next real update.

Steve Fails now on Facebook!

Now you can support Steve Fails on Facebook!

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=76793477454&ref=nf

Guest Star: H Eyeball Fail

Architecture School has taught me one thing - eyeball estimations are almost never correct.

Follow me on Twitter!

Double Fail Guest Star: H+W

H: Tell me that's not in inches ...

W: TWSS. Wow, this is harder than I thought

H: TWSS.

Major Addition

Ladies and Gents, today is the launch of our online store! Link in the sidebar.

For the truly lazy, link here as well: http://www.cafepress.com/stevefails

Guest Star : Will

W: I kinda gave up on it. It was too hard.

Drilling Fail

S: "Should I glue the blocks in?"

G: "No, I think it should be fine."

S: "I think I'm going to glue it in, otherwise I'll be holding three things when I'm drilling."

G: "Yeah, you're right"

S: "Yeah, I'll be holding three things when I'm screwing."

G: "That's what she said"

S: "I should have left it at drilling"

Future Guest Stars

Hey everybody,

Just a quick note for future posts that are being prepared and happening as we speak, we will be featuring some guest stars on SteveFails. If you have any friends who have failed in a Steve-like manner, comment it to let us know.

Upcoming Guest Stars
- Will (the W in other posts)
- Mike

Enjoy! Thanks for supporting SteveFails!

Risk ...y.

W: Steve, wanna start a new game of Risk?
Steve: Yeah, I've got two openings.

Regarding Followers

Steve: Are there any more followers?
H: There are 7.
Steve: Only 7? OMG FAIL.

Let's go people, spread this and get Steve some more followers.

Sitting on the floor

Steve: OMG, this floor hurts.

Steve doesn't know what he's saying

I believe we've shared that Steve's stories usually have no purpose, ending, or punchline and today was pretty much no different. Steve is telling a story about a game that he's playing on www.conquerclub.com which is a site you can play the game of Risk on.

"Steve: This douchebag made a bunch of moves and was about to win except H's army was owning him up so he called him a NOOB. You don't get any "street creed" for owning someone in Risk.
M: Steve, what did you say?
Steve: He doesn't get any STREET CREED.
W: He still doesn't know what he said.
M: That sounds like evangelical rap group."

Names for Steve.

Let's try to keep this list of names given to the biggest fail ever, Steve.

1. "Morning After", emergency contraceptive.

reason: steve was asked for an emergency response to carry some stuff.

2. "Son", yes son, no son.

reason: because G is Steve's father, also mother's day is coming by, so I got steve a card that says "I Love YOUR mom!".

G: What do you think about Andrew?

A: Wait, how did I get involved?

S: You shouldn't have came...

(awkward silence )

Commit to Memory

W put some gay porn websites into the bookmarks folder as an act of generosity. However, upon discovery of the links, Steve acted "annoyed" and immediately went to delete them. This is what he looked like. Clearly he did not want to look away from the screen, as he was committing all of the bookmarks to memory ...

Steve: You guys only put two.

H: And you knew them already.

Steve: Yeah.

Why does Steve do the things that he does?

The setting:

Steve is walking into Higgins Hall Center and he sees his friend Chris walking out.

"Steve: Chris, NICE!
W: What are you looking at? Why'd you say that?
Steve: *Laughs* I don't even know."

Later that day:

Steve sees Chris and Sebastian walking away from him.

"Steve: Double NICE"

Random Early Morning Fail

After a trip to the deli last night, we have forever banned Steve from eating candy of any kind. Why? Because of their names ...

W picks up a "Charleston Chew"
W: Steve, you ever have this before?
Steve: No, why would I do that?

W picks up an "Oh Henry!"
W: Steve, ever say this before?
Steve: Fail.

H: So when you pulled down your pants, did the guy Snickers?

H: Did you smother that guy in Kisses?

H: When you were dating that asian prostitute, did he mind that you called him Almond Joy?

W: How can you do one with Skittles?
H: Steve, I bet you wanted to taste his rainbow!

AIM quotation FAIL

h: wanna eat some d?

s: i wanted to do some of that, but eh

h: ... gotta work on your phrasing

s: yeah well it just comes out!

s: twss!

... as we all know, come on, altogether now ...

"BECAUSE SHE HAS A PENIS?"

Weekly Sunday Steve Fail

"W: Why would I eat a dick before you?
Steve: I'm telling you to eat a dick after me."

Steve Fail Quotes

Anyone who has ever talked to Steve knows that his conversations are just rife with fail. It could be a ridiculous story that has no point or it's a response that makes no sense. Enjoy.

"W: Hey Steve, do you know anyone that wants to buy a television?
Steve: Peanut Butter?"

"H: He wants to go head to head.
Steve: That's what she said.
H: Because she has a penis?"

"W: Steve, what was the last thing you said?
Steve: I don't know! You were supposed to keep an eye on it!
H: Keep on eye on what you said?"

"M: I've got a big one in my back pocket.
Steve: That's what she said.
W: How is that a that's what she said?
H: Because she has a penis."

From the Steve Photo Archive of Fail

Steve is obviously a fag, he even has a sign up for it.

It's hard to decipher what his intentions are sometimes ... though in that last one, one might argue that he isn't gay simply because he is after the breasts of a cartoon woman. But upon closer inspection, his face isn't enjoying it at all.

WIN.

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H: "I couldn't get it out."

Steve: "That's what she said."

H: "Because she has a penis?"

Lazy Sunday Steve Fail

Not sure what's happening here. But if you know Steve, go ahead and guess.




Just another day feeling up another dude.

Steve left studio ... only to return a few minutes later. Searching frantically through a jacket he was leaving behind, he finally claims his treasure. Tissues and gum ... which led us to question, "what are you doing that would require tissues and gum?" to which he briskly walked out without saying another word.

Pre-beard Lumberjack

before we really knew he was gay ... we kind of had an idea ...

6 Hour Fail.

time difference for steve from here to rome is 8 hours. we are in NY. in reference to steve eating dick for an hour, steve cooly replies --

"yeah, and in rome it would've been for 6 hours!"

steve ate dick for 6 hours.

WC: Really Steve, you wanna go there?

S: What?

WC: You wanna go there?

S: Absolutely.

Quote 1 Starter

in reference to Tom Cruise ...

"he's a nutjob!"